what.Rosa.said

I write, I talk, and I probably don't moisturize as much as I should. Follow me on Twitter @what_rosa_said
My little sister, Cristina, turns 22 in less than 4 hours. For the next 4 months or so, we’re only a year apart. The closest of any of the girls in my family. On Wednesday, Cristina will finish highschool for good. Though she walked the stage with her classmates in 2009 (something we had to fight for), TX allows kids with special needs to attend school until they’re 22. Thank you, Cristina, for calling me every single school day promptly at 4 and again at your bed time, not stopping until I pick up. Even if it’s just for the same 10 word conversation we have every time ending in “I love you! Bye!!” In the weirdest voices we can muster. Thank you for always being there. An ear to talk to and a hug to squeeze. I like to believe you completely understand everything I tell you, although I’ll never know. I appreciate your confidentiality. I don’t think I’d be capable of love without having you in my life. I am SO proud of everything you are. I love you more than my heart can hold. Happy 22nd Birthday, Beaner.

My little sister, Cristina, turns 22 in less than 4 hours. For the next 4 months or so, we’re only a year apart. The closest of any of the girls in my family.

On Wednesday, Cristina will finish highschool for good. Though she walked the stage with her classmates in 2009 (something we had to fight for), TX allows kids with special needs to attend school until they’re 22.

Thank you, Cristina, for calling me every single school day promptly at 4 and again at your bed time, not stopping until I pick up. Even if it’s just for the same 10 word conversation we have every time ending in “I love you! Bye!!” In the weirdest voices we can muster.

Thank you for always being there. An ear to talk to and a hug to squeeze. I like to believe you completely understand everything I tell you, although I’ll never know. I appreciate your confidentiality.

I don’t think I’d be capable of love without having you in my life.

I am SO proud of everything you are.

I love you more than my heart can hold. Happy 22nd Birthday, Beaner.

This movie. I found it on Hulu, and knew a lot of people who I worked with at Lookingglass were in it, so I figured I’d watch it. I had no idea how integral they were to the whole movie though. The theatre company actually produced the film. This poster doesn’t give credit to any of the LTC ensemble in the film (except Schwim & Slotnick). I mean, I get it, butts in seats, but still.  I LOVED seeing all my mentors at [almost] my age, and know that they’re still kicking ass. They’re such an amazing company. The epitome of ensemble. A family. I want to go to there.

This movie. I found it on Hulu, and knew a lot of people who I worked with at Lookingglass were in it, so I figured I’d watch it. I had no idea how integral they were to the whole movie though. The theatre company actually produced the film. This poster doesn’t give credit to any of the LTC ensemble in the film (except Schwim & Slotnick). I mean, I get it, butts in seats, but still. 

I LOVED seeing all my mentors at [almost] my age, and know that they’re still kicking ass. They’re such an amazing company. The epitome of ensemble. A family. I want to go to there.

Number 1 team FOUR weeks in a row!  Pizza partay! Let the 5 day weekend begin! Refunds for eevvverrrryyybbahhhdddyyy!

Number 1 team FOUR weeks in a row! 

Pizza partay! Let the 5 day weekend begin!

Refunds for eevvverrrryyybbahhhdddyyy!

Fun Facts!

-The clinic you go to for Lyme disease is the same clinic you go to for walk in STD tests! So if you’re on the Mag Mile, the American Girl Store is too crowded & you’re lookin’ for somethin to do, I can point ya in the right direction.

-Said clinic also sees (homeless ppl) with legit BO issues, and they don’t febreeze rooms between visits. They keep it real!

-I can’t wait to not wear what’s in style this summer because it makes me look like a refrigerator box.

-I finish my God awful antibiotics today! To celebrate: dairy, iron, vitamins and BOOZE! ( Really couldn’t have the first 3 on this crap)

Here’s to a nice long weekend starting Thursday, and to digestive systems returning to normal before people start asking me if I’m pregnant, or an Ethiopian toddler.

The Last 5 years

This week, 5 years ago, my mom told me she had breast cancer 1 hour into an 8 hour drive from OU to San Antonio.

It would take 2 lumpectomies, the removal of all the lymph nodes in her right armpit, and eventually a mastectomy to determine she had stage 4 of the disease. This all happened within 2 months. It was a terrible summer.

We’re 5 years down the road. It’s so bizarre thinking about how terrifying everything was that summer and how common place and mundane everything is now, even though now our course of action and prognosis are remarkably less clear now.

I don’t know what the 5yr survival rate is, because my mom’s case has been specific and bizarre. Breast cancer usually spreads to the bones, lungs and liver. Check, check and check. Add dura, brain and possible spine. My mom has taken every chemo that is available for her cancer except one. Logically, the treatment should’ve killed her by now. But she’s still here. She’s still normal. She’s still Mom.

I can barely remember my mom with hair past her ears, or any color but the beautiful grey it is today. I can barely remember what her chest looked like with out the port that’s permanently placed under her collar bone sticking out. I feel like this has been my life my whole life.

I don’t know whether to be proud of that, or disgusted by it.

Regardless, I am amazed.

Is the answer blow jobs?

Is the answer blow jobs?

-Can’t sleep. Mondo headache. -Watching Ferngully to pass the time. Figured I might as well save the rain forest while I lie here. -Why is the leading man fairy a ginger? Why was Robin Williams allowed to rap? Why is the bat awake during the day? That’s a sign of rabies. -Fun Fact: the antibiotic I’m on for lyme also treats acne, syphilis, chlamydia AND anthrax! So if any terrorists wanna shack up- you’ve got about 2 weeks. -I don’t think I’ll be going home for mem day wknd. I’m super bummed. I can’t afford it. Money’s just not there. But I’ve already requested the time off, so maybe I’ll walk to Canada or something. Tradish memorial day stuff. -Oh, Zack, the human is hot. And tan. -Oh my god, she just turned him into a fairy. This is so a metaphor for Obama’s stance on gay marriage of horticulture. -Today at work, I watched SNL, doodled the Loch Ness Monster on the white board, rolled around on an exercise ball and listened to dubstep. I love my job. - My co-workers took care of all my emails when I was out sick, so instead of coming in to 100 angry emails, I had 2. And they weren’t even mad ones. They’re amazing. Its so weird working at a place where your teammates genuinely care about you. -Watching this movie reminds me how much I hated Avatar. This movie is great. Avatar was stoo-pid. There. I said it. -I should make an effort to go to bed now. I have to be at work in 7 hours, and the NATO summit starts tomorrow which means that traffic will be terrible what with all the high-class prosties demanding their own private towncars and such. - I hope we join the EU!

-Can’t sleep. Mondo headache.

-Watching Ferngully to pass the time. Figured I might as well save the rain forest while I lie here.

-Why is the leading man fairy a ginger? Why was Robin Williams allowed to rap? Why is the bat awake during the day? That’s a sign of rabies.

-Fun Fact: the antibiotic I’m on for lyme also treats acne, syphilis, chlamydia AND anthrax! So if any terrorists wanna shack up- you’ve got about 2 weeks.

-I don’t think I’ll be going home for mem day wknd. I’m super bummed. I can’t afford it. Money’s just not there. But I’ve already requested the time off, so maybe I’ll walk to Canada or something. Tradish memorial day stuff.

-Oh, Zack, the human is hot. And tan.

-Oh my god, she just turned him into a fairy. This is so a metaphor for Obama’s stance on gay marriage of horticulture.

-Today at work, I watched SNL, doodled the Loch Ness Monster on the white board, rolled around on an exercise ball and listened to dubstep. I love my job.

- My co-workers took care of all my emails when I was out sick, so instead of coming in to 100 angry emails, I had 2. And they weren’t even mad ones. They’re amazing. Its so weird working at a place where your teammates genuinely care about you.

-Watching this movie reminds me how much I hated Avatar. This movie is great. Avatar was stoo-pid. There. I said it.

-I should make an effort to go to bed now. I have to be at work in 7 hours, and the NATO summit starts tomorrow which means that traffic will be terrible what with all the high-class prosties demanding their own private towncars and such.
- I hope we join the EU!

Quick Urpdate!

I have Lyme disease! How quirky is that? The last time I went camping was 2006. I haven’t seen a tick since 2009, and logically shouldn’t have it unless I’ve been to Wisconsin in the past 3 weeks (I haven’t!). Good thing is it’s early stage. Caught it when it was a bite and a rash. Which means, hopefully, after a few weeks of antibiotics, I should be good to go. Hopefully, for the rest of my life. If any of ya’ll have seen Under Our Skin (it’s on Netflix) that may help you understand how scared I was when the doc said he was gonna test for lyme. The thing is, if undiagnosed, Lyme can do terrible things to your nervous system, heart and even brain. Under Our Skin is all about late-stage Lyme. I’m lucky. I’m lucky I was a baby and left work early because I wasn’t feeling well and was worried that a sketchy looking mosquito bite I had was infected. I’m lucky I randomly picked an urgent care center with a doctor who would even test me for it even though I hadn’t seen a tick or been to Wisconsin. I’m lucky the guy at the front desk sort of looked like Emile Hirsch, and was really interested in my grody arm. I’m lucky he started me on antibiotics that are prescribed for Lyme 2 days before the confirmation even came in. I’m lucky that he’s set me up to be seen by an infectious disease doctor at Northwestern in a few weeks. I’m lucky.

I’ve stopped googling it, because it’s much easier to find horror stories of late stage than happy stories of early stage nipped in the bud. I’m confident that I am doing all that I can to get rid of this. I’m eager to see what the infectious disease doctor has to say about it. And I’m almost proud? that when I go to Northwestern, that my case will be documented and sent to the CDC so that they can maintain as accurate a record of this epidemic as possible. Maybe it’ll help something later on.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m only about half way through “Eerie, Indiana” and I’ve got a few hours left in today to panic when ever I feel an itch. 

In recent news, my arm is slowly turning into a jawbreaker/sausage. The black tracing was the outline as of 6 last night.

In recent news, my arm is slowly turning into a jawbreaker/sausage. The black tracing was the outline as of 6 last night.

If I ever have to join the witness protection agency, remind me to rename myself “Blatteis Schnur”. And then never talk to me again.

If I ever have to join the witness protection agency, remind me to rename myself “Blatteis Schnur”.


And then never talk to me again.